God, My Provider

I recently returned from a few days at the Jersey shore with my family. While sitting on the Boardwalk, I watched my children enjoy ice cream. The steady squawking of the seagulls hovering nearby could be heard above the tram cars, the chatter of locals and vacationers alike, and the waves crashing nearby. In a bold attempt to be fed, they approached my oldest daughter that shrunk back into her chair frozen in fear looking to share her cookies & cream. 

Later that day as I walked the beach, a lifeguard was livid at a beachgoing family that fed one seagull resulting in a swarm of them descending upon the family in search of food. As I watched the birds fighting over a morsel of food, God's Word surfaced in my head.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:26-27 NIV

Every part of my life, of as of late, has been full of uncertainty. And while I believe God to work out everything for my good, in my humanness, I sometimes fear that very future. What if it isn't the future I pictured? What if it's filled with more battles before victories? What if the valley is still many more miles of walking before I reach mountaintops? What if God continues to call me out into deep waters requiring sacrifices that take every bit of faith I have in order to let go instead of holding on?

And yet, while I fear change, I fear that change won't come, even more. I desire for God to do His work in my life more than I desire my own will. More than anything I fear snatching back whatever I entrusted in His care because, with my limited vision, I don't see victory forming. 

I sat on that beach and felt calm descend over me as I watched the hundreds and hundreds of seagulls God had cared for. In my mind, just the population of those seagulls alone, evidence He was in control of their existence. Birds that don't worship. Birds that don't praise. Birds that do no tithe. Birds that don't pray. Yet, God is their keeper, providing daily. Even if its the Lord using vacationers to unknowingly provide that need.

How much more will God provide for me, His child? Whether via an unknowing participant or through my own guided efforts, I trust God will feed every part of me that hungers, never leaving me to starve. My future is safe in His hands, and amazingly, so is my present.