Springing Back To Life

I can hardly believe that today is March 24th. It may seem like just another day to you, but to me, it is a day I have waited anxiously for, for a long while. Today a promise from God has manifested. A day I never thought I'd live to see, let alone celebrate.

Last year, as I stared up at the ceiling contemplating the mess I called my life, as tears streamed down, God told me new things were coming. That I would walk through the desert alone, but I would survive. That I would feel hurt, but that it wouldn't be in vain. That I would cry, but I wouldn't drown in my tears. That I was a mess, but that He specialized in cleaning messes and making them new. 

New. The idea seemed so foreign to me. I couldn't see how God would make anything in my life new. I really was a total disaster. Some from my own making, some of it not. All of it painful and debilitating. I spent that month watching every single thing in my life crash down all around me. My ministry was gone. My church life was gone. My marriage, practically gone. Family and friends didn't understand. EVERYTHING crashed.

Eight more months of ups, downs, and all arounds, convinced me the only "New" in my life would be new problems fresh every morning. Everything from my hair falling out, to my car needing repairs, to arguing daily with my husband, to forgetting to thaw out meat for dinner, to tripping over the curb, everything, gave me reason to doubt God even cared, let alone had a plan for my life. Yet, He was absolutely right about me hurting, being alone and a mess.

I was drowning. Some days I was able to keep my head above water, other days, just my nostrils, the pain so all-consuming, dragged me down as if weights were tied to my feet. But through it all, I still clung to a small measure of hope that my life couldn't suck so bad forever. I read my go to scripture and watched sermons online, my temporary lifesavers to try and stay afloat for just a moment. In retrospect, I believe if I hadn't done that, not even my nostrils would have broken the surface of my ocean of torment. I most certainly would have drowned.

And then came 2018...

I am not one to believe that a new year erases the previous, and it is the sole reason we can begin anew. Yet, God used that exact moment to speak into my life. As I stood there with my family and church family getting ready to count down in the new year, God used my Pastor to break some chains weighing down my life. Little did he know, that the words directed to the entire congregation were aimed directly at my heart like a bullseye. He echoed the same words God spoke to me nine months before. As my tears free flowed down my face, he recited my go to scripture. At that point, I couldn't deny God was speaking to me nor the Holy Spirit consuming me. I felt free. The path to my "New" lit up before me like the yellow brick road at Dorothy's feet. My heart was healing and being made whole and it felt so amazing.

January God inspired me to start Healing Heartbreak Ministries and told me to officially launch it on Saturday, March 24, 2018. I didn't know why that particular day, but when God says "do", I do and it became the official launch date. In February when I wanted to launch a month early, eager to hurry and start my "New", He reminded me that 3/24/18 was the date, and I was not to change it. So I waited. 

God finally revealed to me why today would be the official birthday of HHM, and I could only cry. March 24th is the first Saturday of Spring, the season of NEW life and NEW beginnings. The season of resurrection. And the scripture that I have clung to for a year?

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a NEW thing! Now it SPRINGS up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Even now, I am stirred within, seeing God's promise manifest and how He is a God of details and purpose. He cares for me and has always had my best interest at heart. In my grief and sorrow, it was difficult to see through the fog, but I know God was with me through it all. My car needed repairs, but it didn't break down. I tripped over the curb, but I did not fall. My husband and I argued, but an issue that had plagued me, came to light and I was able to begin remedying it.  My hair was falling out, but it is growing back. I forgot to thaw out meat, but we never went without food and enjoyed lots of pizza nights. (I love pizza...lol). God may not move in ways we understand or even see, but He is moving and He does care.

Today IS the official "Birth Day" of HHM and that in and of itself is amazing, but God didn't stop there. Today, I am also moving into my new place. My newest book, Simple Prayers for the Brokenhearted released yesterday, debuting as a #1 Bestseller on Amazon. I have two more books releasing this year. I am undertaking two new projects that I believe are going to empower women to new levels and I am so super excited about both.

However, my most exciting and blessed "New" thing is ME. I am MENDED.