Dear Future Me

Dear Future Me, I'm experiencing a season of heartbreak. Someone we love is gone from our lives. I would have never imagined that I could feel such deep pain. Heartbreak is more than just a phrase. It is agonizingly accurate because I promise you I feel actual physical pain. I place my hand where my heart is and try to console the constant ache residing there. I am broken in heart, mind, & spirit. The tears I cry do little to bring me comfort, but I can not help but let them fall freely in an effort to find an end to this pain. Perhaps, I have not shed a sufficient amount to satisfy God. My heartache is profoundly hurt enough to produce more, of that I am sure. I'm unable to keep from soaking my pillow every night, despite me begging God to take away it all away. I would gladly give up having emotions if He would just take this pain from me. Yet, if I'm honest, what my heart truly wants is the love of the one who left me. Their love is the cure to what ails me. That we have more happy days ahead. I feel lost & lonely. Unloved & abandoned. Am I not enough? Is God punishing me? Future me, when will this pain end? Does my heart mend? Will I ever be happy again? Please write back soon. I am desperate. Hurting, Your heartbroken self Dear Past Me, I remember our pain so vividly. The grief we felt was all-consuming, affecting nearly every other part of our lives. It was indeed a difficult season of heartbreak. You asked several questions that I am eager to answer, but first I have to tell you that while I am so sorry that we had to endure that season in our lives, I wouldn't change it. I know that probably surprises and even frightens you, but please let me explain a little further. First, I don't mean that I am glad we suffered. That's not what I mean at all. What I really mean is what was produced from that pain is something that I have come to cherish and not something I would give up. You see while we were suffering and crying out to God, He heard every plea and collected every tear and although we didn't know it, He had a plan to make it all ok. He used what the enemy meant to destroy, to mold and strengthen us. Thinking back on that misery, I know how close we were to jumping off the ledge of life, sanity & redemption, our misery being watered with the poison that the enemy rained down on us minute after minute. Oh Past Me, we were wounded and barely alive inside. Yet, what we saw as death, God saw as an opportunity for resurrection. Past Me, you ARE more than enough. God made you more than enough. You have to believe that about yourself. And because He is loving, He will always place others in your path that will validate His love for you, reminding you that you are enough. I am very happy to report that God does send us a friend and she is absolutely amazing. We have indeed been blessed. God loves us and while we have fallen short, as all man does, He sent His son to take on our iniquities. He heard your plea for forgiveness and has forgiven you. He remembers it no more. It's time to let that go. Your pain was not in vain. It becomes a necessary part of your journey. It is because you felt so heartbroken that you learn to rely on Christ to heal you. You study scripture and pray daily in search of hope and comfort. You surrender it all to Him. God doesn't take your pain away, Past Me. However, He teaches you to give it all to Him so that He can carry it. He teaches you to rely on Him and trust Him with your future. He teaches you to let go. He teaches you to love yourself because you are beautiful. Past Me, you become a Heartbreak Survivor, then a Thriver, and eventually a Riser. You begin a ministry that is dedicated to helping others suffering heartbreak. Your journey was more than just getting over heartbreak. It was God molding you and giving you the tools needed to do more than just be happy again one day. His plans are bigger for us than we can fathom. And lastly, yes, Past Me, you are beautifully mended.  Hang on! God loves you, as do I. His love never fails. With Profound Love, Your Future Self I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11 GW